This isn’t how I usually how I start these types of posts, but then again I said that I would write after the last long post and I ended up going nearly a month without writing. That’s sad to me because I’m the kind of person that likes to pour everything into stuff like this.. Hell, I did this every day for a year, documenting my life. Now, all I want to do is have documented everything that happened over the past couple of years. I am not sure how but I need to recap the last two years on here, if only for my own benefit. I need to figure out how to say the things I’ve been feeling and experiencing without having to deal with people’s misinterpretation of my life and ethical choices. Somehow, I am guessing that it’s just not possible to actually figure this kind of thing out. Oh well.
In other news, I am writing this post from a plane 36,002ft. in the air. I’m flying for the last time to LA for business. I don’t usually post that kind of thing, but I’m in a mood to meet people. If there are any followers in or around the LA area that want to meet me, I am legitimately down. I’m thinking like food / drinks or whatever, but I’ve always wanted to meet followers and what a better time to do it than this week. I don’t have a ton of work lined up so I’m not really busy in the evenings, so any time monday-thursday evenings, I’m up to meet. If you are interested, message me with a picture so I know you’re not a creep and I’ll shoot one back (another rare experience for my time on Tumblr). Anyway, looking forward to meeting some of you!
So about our lifestyle choices. Yeah, this would be a good spot to put a ‘read more’ link I think… lol
So as I said in my last post, our lives are very different than they were when I first started this blog what was now over 4 years ago. I fell in love with my best friend, and as the history of Us will tell you, She and I started off by cheating on my ex, whom I loved very much. There was nothing easy about what I was doing and the choices I was making, and to this day it will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. Still, She and I made it through it and found ourselves at the end of the road, alive and more in love than ever before. We got married in 2011, which this blog heavily documented all for the prior year, including the engagement, and the first year of marriage was amazing. About 3/4th of the way through our first year of marriage, we were asked to be a part of a film that a professor from our school was producing. It was a modern day telling of the story of mary from the bible. Not the mother of jesus mary, but the prostitute mary. Well I was asked to be the drug dealer and She was asked to be the main character, the prostitute who ended up murdering the drug dealer. I talked about this film a bit back then if you recall. At any rate, the point behind this is that when I met Her, she was a very reserved long skirt-wearing religious girl that was very conservative. What I say now I say not out of judgment of anyone, but purely out of my own view and opinion: I live a more… liberal lifestyle than most. I had spent a long time working on Her… in fact, every day since I met Her I’ve been working on her and She has come a long way. She has come INSANELY far actually. – At any rate, this film was quite out of her usual comfort zone because she had to be seductive to the camera and film seductive scenes and what not. One of the scenes was her seducing the camera, which involved her to go topless without showing anything to the camera. She really didn’t feel comfortable, and actually I ended up having to do the video in order for her to be comfortable enough. That’s where she was at at the time. Well it just so happens that another one of the scenes involved shooting a threesome scene with her and another girl who was a part of my character’s murder. So, we went into it knowing that…. and that was also about the time that we started drinking as well. I mean, we had tried drinking, but we hadn’t really drank much before this may of 2012. Well it came time to shoot the threesome scene and so the director put on hot music and grabbed a beer and sat while the camera men recorded. It wasn’t like a full-on threesome, just making out. So it was the three of us on the couch and the music was playing and there was neck kissing… and there was actual kissing… and we were all just kissing … and it was hot… and surprisingly, we all really freaking enjoyed it… – It went on for about 10 minutes and then the music awkwardly stopped and so did the mood. It was over just like that, but the feeling left questions that we needed answers to. It left us wondering if that was something we wouldn’t mind trying again with a scene that wasn’t recorded and wasn’t part of a film… – We were curious.
So it turns out that one of the camera guys was one of our really close friends, the one that had screwed over her old roommate way back in early 2011, if you can recall back that far. – Well we had all kinda been talking to him about how we felt about it and what not, and he jokingly suggested that we try one with him… — You have to understand, this guy was the one that kinda got us into everything…. drinking, etc…. He was all like “I’ll bring over strong shit and we’ll see where it goes”. Of course, Her and I had been talking about this and we weren’t opposed to the idea. She wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing me kiss another girl but She hadn’t minded at all during the threesome with the other girl for the movie so She thought She’d be interested to see how it felt to try it again. Of course, I knew that I didn’t mind seeing her with another guy just because I know that about me…. About 20% of guys are turned on by their girl with another guy, and I’m in that 20%…. – So I suggested that we should try it with another guy first since that would be easier for her. She seemed down for that, and without going into graphic detail, our friend came over, got us nearly puking on tequila, and it… happened. This time, it happened all the way, not just making out. Incidentally, we liked the experience. We went to a cabin for our 1 year anniversary and met a guy from the area at our cabin for one of the days… same type of experience. She was actually beginning to enjoy herself, and of course I didn’t mind the threesomes with her, even of they were primarily her doing stuff simultaneously with two guys, me and another guy. It wasn’t something that bothered me at all and I was curious to see where it went from there.
I don’t know when the first time that we did stuff with a couple was, but you might have heard the term “swingers” before… yeah. Well that was essentially the lifestyle that we were getting into. We found a few couples that we didn’t really enjoy doing stuff with all that much between september and february of 2013, and had a couple of bad experiences and many awesome ones. As far as I recall, it was mostly her with other guys or us with other couples. I don’t believe I did anything with other girls alone or in a MFF threesome at all during 2012 or 2013. In fact, we got REALLY busy in school mid 2012 and were happy where we were at, so for nearly 9 months, the most we did was meet up with our close friend, the one that got us started on all this. That was it from mid 2013 till nearly March of 2014. It was okay though, because this lifestyle we were exploring had a lot of drinking in it and a lot of partying and we were enjoying that as much as the experimenting.
Oh, I forgot to mention one major aspect that we pretty much block out lol – So, after one of our parties in January of 2012, this girl stayed after the party because she was blacked out. Well, she was so messed up that she just randomly started making out with me. One thing led to another and that was our first MFF threesome, and it actually became more than that. She was actually a student at our school… a freshman, bad us… – But she was fun and interested in whatever we had going on. For about 2 months, we actually attempted a 3-way relationship with this girl. We dated her, all hung out all the time, called her our ‘girlfriend’, and had fun overall. In fact, for spring break, we all 3 went to Myrtle Beach and spent a week in hotels and on the beach. It was… interesting, but freaking memorable. Ultimately, this girl couldn’t handle the fact that she was falling for me and she knew that she would never be able to actually have me since I was married to Her. We all cared about each other deeply, but it was time to let this end. So after 2 months, we went our separate ways and that was that. It was… hard, but the memories from that time will never leave us and we wouldn’t trade them for anything.
From that, we learned that 3-way relationships really aren’t the way to go. They just aren’t lol – It wasn’t that it was bad, it was just different and difficult to manage. – So yeah that was our first experience with another girl solo, early 2012. Now that we had been doing it more and more and having the time of our lives with it, we met a couple our age on spring break of 2014. They were a freaking blast and we loved every second of them, actually met up with them again later in 2014. As I also said in my last post, we really started partying in early 2014, and soon it was an every-other-weekend type thing. I had two hook-ups, (if you can call hardcore making out hooking up) with two of the hottest girls at our school, two parties in a row. I was actually starting to get somewhere with girls, which wasn’t something I had really tried too hard for since I was happy with it with her with other guys, and didn’t want to push her into anything. Well now that we had been exploring this lifestyle for two years, she was totally fine with the hooking up at parties, in fact she wanted it surprisingly for me. — We hit up clubs on our cruise and what not, and just messed around with this. We actually met up with a couple after the cruise in Florida, and it was a good experience.
About early 2014 we really started hanging out with our best friend who lives with us now. It wasn’t until late April that he did anything with Her… he was very apprehensive of the idea because he was homeschooled like we were and just wasn’t into the idea for some reason. The first time we all did stuff the 3 of us, he was so freaking nervous he couldn’t get off, but that didn’t ruin it. The closer we all got, the more powerful our connection became. We never did a 3-way relationship thing, and this guy won’t have sex until marriage so we only do everything but… but the realtionship that we all have is incredible. He is essentially the guy version of our 3-way relationship with the girl in 2012. Except that it’s not a 3-way relationship and we all know that. We’re just 20-somethings that are having fun with our lives… making mistakes, learning from them, and most of all… having no regrets.
I avoided writing this for so long for two reasons. 1. We had suspicions that people that we knew in real life had found this blog and I wasn’t really ready to tell people about that yet… neither was She. – Secondly, and probably more importantly: I know that the follower base that I have on here will have the hardest time understanding this aspect of our lives. I know full well that following this post today, I will be judged for our lifestyles choices. I will get mail from haters and those who don’t get it and can’t wrap their mind around it, and that is okay. I can deal with all that, because everyone is different. Everyone looks at things differently and has different views on how they should live their lives. I am not going to judge my followers for not being able to understand this, just as I hope there are those that won’t judge us for this either.
We have this one life to live. I don’t believe in just going with the flow and doing everything because that’s how our parents did it and that’s how we’ve been told we should do it. I do things because they make sense and because they’re something that I’ve always wanted to try. Living with no regrets means being willing to take whatever comes from a situation and run with it. We’ve done that, and we couldn’t be happier.
This lifestyle is not for everyone, that’s for damn sure. It works for us and a few select others because we are both very sexually driven people who love to have fun. It works for us because we have a relationship BASED on friendship, not a friendship based on a relationship. We have unequivocal trust and that trust is what allows us to have fun with this. We know that no matter what happens, no matter where this goes, we could both stop this at any second and be perfectly happy with the rest of our lives. We do this because everyone struggles with lust. Everyone wishes they could have that freaking 11/10 individual, even if just for a minute. This lifestyle gives us the opportunity to roll with that, to actually get out there and live our dreams and have no regrets from it. This gives us the opportunity to take out any chance of cheating or an affair in the marriage, because we are openly wanting this for each other. This gives me the ability to hook up randomly with a hot girl from LA while I’m on this business trip if that opportunity arises, and for us both to be fine and everyone to have had fun from it. My god, you have no idea how open and refreshing this lifestyle has been to our marriage, and how amazingly different it is to not have to hide our natural human nature of wanting to have what we want sexually without having to give up the closeness that comes from marriage.
Oh and the sex. The sex is fucking incredible. There is nothing that surprised me more from all this than the fact that doing stuff with other people actually STRENGTHENS our marriage. You know how the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Turns out that if you have the ability to hop over for 10 minutes then hop back, your vantage point changes greatly. We found a way to preview the other side of the fence, find out how really not green it is, and then come back and love our germane grass just that much more. It’s the one angle I did not anticipate, but Her and I both agree that it has been the most shocking and relationship-strengthening aspect to our marriage thus far. Again, it might not be true for everyone, but it is true for us.
So, Tumblr, I write this post with much apprehension. I know many won’t get it, but THIS is the aspect of my life that I’ve had to completely shield from here for two years. I wish so badly that I had been able to document this all the way along, and I can only hope that detaildly documenting it now can help me look back on every part from here on out with vivid memory.
I want to clarify that just because I didn’t post because I didn’t think people would get it, doesn’t mean that I am not willing to talk about it. If you have questions, please, send them my way. I will do my best to answer them. If you just want to hate on my decisions, please take your time and use it in some other way. I write on here because this is where I pour my soul out… I capture my life in this blog and wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, to end this, I thank you for reading. Thanks for sharing this part of my should with me. Oh, and if there’s anyone who wants to meet up while I’m in LA, just shoot me a message. I’m free Tonight, tomorrow, wednesday, and thursday evenings. ^^
Till I write again~
