Where to begin? It’s hard to believe that we’re entering another decade already. – They say time flies, but if we’re being honest I barely remember Y2K, so in reality this is only the second turning of a decade that I can truly recall. Not that I remember 2010 very much, but to put things in perspective, Her and I had only been dating for 6 months at the turn of the last decade… now we’ve been married for 8.5 years, or what feels like a lifetime.
A decade ago this blog didn’t exist. Granted it came to life only 8 months into the decade, which means that in less than 8 months it will be 10 years old… (that’s something insane to think about… because it’s been around almost as long Her and I have been together 😳) – I wish I could have given this blog the attention it deserved for the second half of the decade, but I was living life, and I don’t regret that part at all.
How do I possibly write a recap for the past decade? This is and will most likely be the best decade of my life. I grew more this decade than I can see myself ever growing again. I turned 19 the first year of the decade, and 28 during the last year. I learned more about who I was, made more mistakes than I care to count, and loved deeper than I thought was possible, while also hurting more than I’ve ever imagined I could. Most of all, I matured in ways I could never have anticipated… This decade was the defining one for me, and I’ll forever look back on it as the decade that defined me; that defined Us.
This decade saw my first taste of alcohol, the losing of my virginity, the first time trying weed, molly, acid, and other drugs. It saw my first music festival, the first time having sex with other people outside our marriage, and the first time I lost a best friend. So much happened in the last 10 years… I can’t imagine that the next 10 could possibly top it.
So what about 2019? This post serves not only as a recap of the decade, but as a recap of my 2019 as well. I would be lying if I said that 2019 wasn’t the ‘fastest’ year I’ve had to date. I’m sure it has a lot to do with the job I’m working right now that has me seemingly working endless hours… but it’s more than that. It’s the culmination of my partying career combined with the most intensive professional career position I’ve ever held, combined with trying to maintain the largest house we’ll probably ever own. – I’m type A and have always been able to handle multiple things at once with ease. If it needs to get done to enhance our lives or better our living experience, I get it done. However, 2019 saw my partying lifestyle of the past 5 years catch up to me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. The endless gallons of liquor I drink at our many parties and the various drugs that accompany said parties have worn me down over the years to the point where I could no longer keep up with the insane workload that my job provides, while also trying to upkeep the house and our personal lives. It all became too much and I almost crashed several times this year. Somehow, someway, I didn’t, though. It nearly killed me, but 2019 was a success despite barely sleeping and barely making it.
Her and I did well this year for sure. We kept working on Us and the issues that nearly tore us apart in late 2017/2018…. While we did have setbacks, it was a continuous upward trend that I feel is going to continue in 2020. We both have ‘PTSD’ from how badly things went in the ‘dark period’, but the time between each PTSD episode gets longer each time and that’s really the best we can hope for.
Things with our crew took an interesting turn this year. While we saw our last crew group formally close the first half of the year and evenly split, we built a new crew in the second half of the year. We lost our two best friends that we basically dated for several years, but even they came back in the last 3 months of 2019. We got back several prominent members that had left for the ‘Crew2’ as we called it. Their group started to dissolve because of drama and we got back our 2 best friends and another girl that was a major win for us this year. There’s still uncertainty about what getting these people back means, but at least they’re back. – We’ve even seen my best friend who we lost in early 2017 start hanging out again…. – He still won’t speak to us, but since his group basically dissolved, he’s been hanging out with our group at events… which, is a win for us. I actually wrote an 11 page letter to him titled ‘3 years later’ last week. I thanked him for helping me become a better person by leaving the way he did. He showed me all the things I did wrong and taught me to be a better person by leaving the way he did… – I apologized again and laid my heart out. – I don’t know if anything will come of it, but I delivered it to his mailbox a couple days ago so we’ll see.
So what about 2020? By this point we’re pretty dug into our routine with this lifestyle at this house with this crew and these jobs. Nothing is really going to be able to change that very much… a painstakingly hard realization I came to when I was dying last year from overworking… but I do have some new-years resolutions I do intend to carry out. The first of which is getting to bed by 11 every night except the weekend. I am very confident that part of the issues I’ve had have been because I can’t seem to fall asleep before 2am. I’ve worked very hard the last couple months of the year to set myself up for success with this venture, and I’m confident I’ll be able to stick to it, which in turn will hopefully help me keep up with the insanity our lives currently incur.
The second new-years resolution I have is to get back to my working out regularly routine. I want to get things to a point physically where I am happy with it. I managed to do it for almost 6 months last year before the workload overtook me… and in 2020 I want to stick with it completely. This needs to be a way of life, not a thing I just do. I managed to set it up in such a way last year that it was sustainable… now I just need to make that a reality.
Thirdly, I want more time with Her. We need time to actually work on Us, and right now with the way things have been we barely get even more than a couple hours every MONTH… and that isn’t going to cut it. So we’re going to carve out time for us… and we’ll continue to improve more than we have yet to date.
So with all that in mind, I look back on the last decade with a fondness I can’t really put into words. I have 8 more months in this house before we sell it and put this age of our lives to rest. I just need to survive these next 8 months… and I think I can do that. Maybe it’s because I’ve actually slept the past couple nights, but hey, I’ll ride that wave as far as possible.
Here’s to a life-changing decade past, and the start of the next one. As long as I have Her hand in mine, we can do anything~
