I am THIS close to shutting this blog down…. not permanently, just… for awhile. – I started this blog when I first got to College 3 years and 22 days ago. Since then it has been my own personal journal; my life in picture form. I have shared every memory, every event, and every emotion on this blog. However, I’m at that point where I have to wonder if I can keep this up. I always get rundown like I am right now during the 3 weeks prior to school starting, but this is increasingly bad this year. This year, this time around, I am faced with more than I even thought possible. I have So much to do, and I have a senior year of college ahead of me on top of it all. I am not sure that I can pull it off… and even if I do, will I even notice it went by? I’m so incredibly tired… all I want to do is have NOTHING to do. It’s really not that much to ask.
And yet, the whole world is focused around money. If I had all the money in the world, what would I be doing with my life? Would I still be going into a computing/business degree? Would I still be killing myself everyday to do so many different things? Probably actually. I do what I do because I love it. If I was a full time employee for my school enjoying all these extra-curricular activities on top of my work, I would be in heaven. The problem comes in when I throw an overload of school into the mix. That becomes a MAJOR problem. Now, I’m taking all the things that I love, and I’m splitting them up between things that I don’t. I’m trying to make my time count, and in the process I’m ending up not having enough time to give anything in my life. I have so much to do and so little time to do it, that the things that I do aren’t even done to the level of perfection that I always strive for. They’re not half-assed… but they’re not at the above-perfect quality level I always strive to reach. I am truly, uncontrollably, overwhelmed with being overworked. Can I survive this year? Maybe. But I won’t be able to do it running a blog like this every day. – So, I’m taking a step back from everything. The only way that I’m going to be able to make it through this year, is to keep the most detailed of to-do lists. I am going to have to organize my emails, organize my every step, and keep it such that I can totally control every aspect of my day. I know for damn certain that the only way that I’m going to be able make this happen will be if I actually create a calendar with every second of my day. So, that’s what I’m going to do. I will have to-do lists and email backlogs out the ears, and at the end of it all I Will come out on top. Because, you see, I really don’t have any other option. The alternative is failure, and I don’t Do failure. So this is my life for the next 9 months. Let’s get this bitch rollin’!
